Shades of play

French rose?

"That's it young lady, I'm going to teach you a lesson you won't forget in a hurry. I'm going to spank your bare bottom until it's..." (consults colour chart) "...Bengal red. No, hang on, make that English fire... or scarlet letter..."

What's in a name? We're having a new bathroom just now and can't decide what colour to paint the walls when it's all done. SO  wants some sort of blue, but I'm not keen. I want something a bit brighter, bolder.

So we've got some of those colour charts that paint manufacturers give away. I find myself drawn, for some reason, to the reds and pinks and play with the idea of punishments gauged by colour shade rather than number of smacks.

Blazer, maybe.

Sandersons goes from a gentle French rose to fearsome Bengal red. Dulux is a bit pedestrian - just sweet pink, pretty pink and sexy pink.

Posh Farrow & Ball has a bit of a limited range, but I like one or two of the names. How about blazer (something of a suggestion of school uniform at a super-strict boarding school) and rectory red is good too (upstairs in the master bedroom someone's been given an extra-hard session with the clothesbrush).

Crown is more promising with its red carpet, sticky finger, English fire and cheeky wink. There's certainly a sense of humour involved. But the most practical is probably Wickes.

Its names are straightforward, but the chart is more useful as a spank-standard. There's candyfloss (hand smacking over jeans), candy (brisk, pants down OTK), raspberry (very through hairbrush, bare bot) and, last but not least, scarlet letter (very, very disobedient - long, hard paddling).

English fire?

So, I've got the chart. Now, how can I get SO to play the game without coming over as a bossy little Bottom?