Crash, bang...

...wallop. Is it just me, or is noise a vital part of the spanking experience? Quiet corporal punishment is like orchestral performance without the percussion section.
If you've spent time on this blog you'll know that volume is an issue in our house. SO is so terrified about being unmasked as a semi-willing participant in TTWD that a sound spanking for me often lacks sound.
So, yesterday we were blessed with one of those surprise no-kids days. Our girls decided to go shopping together, which is unusual. It's been a while since the opportunity has come along and I've been very bratty, so the normally reluctant SO was nearly itching to get switching.
And today's marks on my bot are testament to the fact that I got what I had coming. That whippy, green stick used was especially punishing when it found the tops of my legs, so no short shorts for a day or two.

The switch was chosen with noise-reduction in mind. It's so hot here at the moment that everyone has their windows open and that convinced SO that someone would hear us (even though our window was tightly shut).
Now to moan about the detail of what was a very satisfying afternoon encounter would appear to be ungrateful, I know. The sort of gracelessness that calls for a bit of old-fashioned correction, in fact.
But hey, SO doesn't come here so who cares. That switch stung like a dozen hornets, but it wasn't as all-round satisfying from a spanko pov as something really noisy would have been - a nice percussive paddle, hairbrush or rubber-soled sandal.
The blog Learning DD is a good source on the practicalities of everyday spanko life and has things to say about implements and noise here. Clint at Learning DD says "As a general rule, the less surface area of the buttocks the implement impacts, the quieter the spanking will be."
Btw, reading the post's comments I was green with envy with one from Jack's Jill who said: "We’re lucky that the kids have moved and my HoH can use whatever pleases him without worrying about children in the house or others hearing. This gives him a great sense of freedom and me too. He can discipline me anywhere he pleases in the house and with what ever implement he wants." Sounds heavenly.
Anyway, for me the surface area thing is the seat of the issue (if you'll pardon the pun). I have lots of butt surface area and I want lots of it to get attention with each and every spank.
And the noise that the implement makes, and that I make as it does its work, is very much part of the exercise too. The thwick, thwick, thwick of a switch, a can, a Loopy Johnny or a tilt wand (?) isn't nearly as satisfying as the gunshot whack of slipper or paddle.
Personally, I'd prefer it if we look out the paddle and then threw open the windows and let the neighbourhood hear what a truly punishing spanking sounds like. But I think SO would die on the spot, so I suppose I'll just have to be happy with the quiet life.
   

Brand new?

Or brand spanking new? You get so used to a phrase that you don't question it, but then today I did. My first search engine question was to ask is it only us Brits that say it?
But it certainly seems to have currency beyond the UK otherwise why would this South African marketing company have decided that it's brand would benefit from being a little bit spanky?
But what's it all about? I heard someone say the phrase today and when I gave it some thought the best explanation I could come up with was that it had something to do with the old tradition of the midwife slapping a newborn baby to get it to breathe.
But a bit of Googling suggests that that's way off the mark.This definition makes a connection between the s-word, strutting Scandinavians and horses.
While here there's a link made between the sort of branding that cowboys do to cows. Off topic, personally, I don't really understand the whole fiction niche that sees big, rough cowboy heroes spanking the living daylights out of bratty girls in gingham; maybe you have to be American to get it.

But anyway, so far 'brand new' makes some sort of sense. But why the spanking? Apparently it's about our favourite word having two meanings. 
Yes, there's the noun and verb one that involves the reddening of naughty bottoms, but there's more. Meaning number two is adj. 'exceptionally large or fine'.
Interesting. It turns out then that we've forgotten what it means, but we still like to use it. Personally, I think that just may be about the fact that all adult human beings have at least a little bit of spanko hidden deep inside and just like to have an excuse to say the word. 
And then there's all the people like you and me who don't hide TTWD too deeply and just love any opportunity to say 'spanking' in vanilla situations. Anyway, from now on I intend to make full use of both of my favourite word's two definitions.
I'm planning to let SO know that from today I want my spankings to be spanking - that is 'exceptionally large or fine'. Or preferably, exceptionally large and fine...