Just relax...

And take what you have coming. But that's easier said than done, isn't it? You have your bare bot up and ready and you know that up there somewhere there's some sort of instrument of ass destruction, so it's only natural to clench, isn't it?
Clench your eyelids tight shut, your fists, your teeth - and your bumcheeks as small and stony as you can manage. But does clenched make for less sizzle or do relaxed, wobbly buttocks sting less when skin and palm (or implement) exchange energy?
It's a question that I have given some thought to and so I was fascinated to read Secret Spanko on the subject and to see comments, too. Personally I'm a clencher, but then I hadn't heard the clench = bruising theory and I may have to think again.
It would be interesting to set up some science-based experiments to see if the theory stands up in practice, wouldn't it? You'd probably need twins, some sort of well-calibrated spanking machine and a foolproof device for measuring smart - shouldn't be difficult to find... 

Classic art: Lewis Bald

Forget Downton Abbey, this is a genuine vision of the Edwardian period. A stern educator administers a fearsome birch thrashing to the plump bot of one of her disobedient charges.
The work of the illustrator Lewis Bald is marvellously erotic. It's mostly not about bare flesh, instead corsets, petticoats and lovely roomy drawers conjure up the sexiness.
Apparently Bald was working  between 1909 and 1910 providing illustrations for French publishers of naughty little stories like 'Le Fouet dominateur' and 'L'École du fouet'. I wonder why he spent so little of his career creating CP-related stuff?

Searching revisited

Is this a slipper which I see before me? As Macbeth might have asked. I think it might just be, or maybe it's more accurate to call it a sandal. 
Whatever it is, it looks a lot like what I'm looking for. I saw this pic just now at the excellent All Things Spanking and now I want my bot to be next in line to get spanked with that slipper/sandal thingy.
PS Do you ever get those days when you should be working and you try to work, but some part of your brain just can't stop thinking about spanking? I don't know why, but I feel like my SQ is off the scale.

Home thoughts

Phrases we love, episode one. "Just you wait until I get you home..." Is there any combination of words that promises so much?
In town shopping today SO used the magic phrase, although sadly only in fun. We were looking at pasta at the time, but I immediately got that weak-at-the-knees, melty feeling.
There's that bit of pleasing ambiguity about it that makes the statement so good - what exactly is it that's going to happen when you're back to at home? Clearly it is going to be a straight upstairs and get your panties down sort of deal, but what next?
Driving home I spent some time mulling over the possibilities. I decided I preferred option one - the straight upstairs and over the bed for a good whipping with my belt.
In my mind's eye that looked a winner. Unfortunately, we didn't have the house to ourselves this afternoon, but it was a nice thought even so.

Cinderella search

Finding the right slipper is more difficult than you'd think. In fact, it's like the opposite of Cinderella.
They tried that slipper on hundreds of girls before finding the perfect fit. I've tried hundreds of slippers, but never quite discover my idea of perfection.
This is a very British thing, I know. The rest of the world probably thinks we're weird using footwear to spank naughty bottoms with, but in the days of school CP it was the entry-level spanking implement of choice at most schools.
So it is very much part of my spanko psychology. You misbehave, you go to fetch the slipper. The problem is that in my experience you just can't get slippers that do the job properly.
Now if you haven't tried it, a good slipper punishment is quite something. For me it's as satisfying as good fast food - other meals may be closer to art, but fast food is just what you need when you need it.

A good slipper smarts like the devil, reddens efficiently and makes a big, scary sound. It doesn't leave much in the way of marks (good if you're off to the pool tomorrow) and it is an innocent object to have sitting around the bedroom, although a pair is less likely to raise suspicions than just the one.
But not every slipper has it in it to be a spanking slipper. Many are called, but few make the grade. Most are way too light and have been made using the wrong sorts of materials.

For me it has to be a thick rubber sole with a smooth surface and just the right amount of upper - not too much, not too little. Plimsolls and sports shoes are so wrong, as are anything suede or with man-made fur on it. 
In my experience it's easier to find a sandal that packs a good spank, but then a sandal isn't really a slipper, is it? Eventually, I'm sure I will go to the ball - I'll find the slipper that is exactly the one of my dreams... and in the meantime it is a good excuse to go to shoe shops.

Situation vacant

She's young, nervous and impressionable in most Victorian novels, sadistic and sensual in classic erotica like 'The English Governess' while today an image search for the g-word is st likely to come up with pictures of a woman with a whip in something shiny and black.
I have the whole governess thing on my mind again at the moment because I'm working on a sequel to 'A Week in the Country' and one of the characters who carries over to the new novel is Miss Harwood, the governess. Looking at her again I was struck that she doesn't have much depth as a character compared with most of the others - she lacks a 'back story'.
So, I need to give her an earlier life. But there's so much myth-making around the role of the Victorian governess that it's hard to get an idea of who real governesses were. These ads from the late 1840s throw some light on it: governesses, housekeepers and companions were clearly betwixt and between, as my granny would have put it. 
In a household the governess was a step ahead of the servant class and a good step behind her employer - not one or the other. The women in the ads are clearly well educated and are selling their skills as being an ideal femininity - they detail their knowledge of drawing, dancing, music and ornamental needlework (no mention of maths, of course). 

They are young middle-class girls, but seem to have modest ambitions. For example, when Rose at Mrs Walpole's touches on pay she's only asking for a "moderate salary". 
Which means that my Harriet is rather a long way from this 1840s reality. She's older, ambitious and a great deal more self-possessed, so I need to invent a journey that will get her from a meek teen looking for a moderate wage to a cane-wielding 40-something who won't take crap from anybody. Interesting.

PS And, of course, the Times job ads make no mention of that most important accomplishment for any governess who makes an appearance in erotic fiction - her understanding of domestic discipline. Maybe that was just a given...

Bad, but good

I'm a long-time follower of Bad Penny Blues. I'm not entirely sure why - I just love the eclectic mix of stuff that turns up in each and every post. It's not all to my taste, but it usually makes me smile and it has at imtes been something of an inspiration for some fictional bad behaviour.
It bills itself as: 'A motley circus of erotic imagery of interest mainly to transvestites, sissies, femdom fans, retro-erotics, auto-flagellants, lingerie fetishists, the luridly curious and similar riff-raff.' I'm not sure which category I fall into; maybe a retro-erotic, possibly luridly curious or perhaps I'm just riff-raff...
Anyway, today the treat was this Jim Black drawing, which I'm fairly certain I haven't seen before. If I had I think I would have remembered it because I just love the subtlty of the composition.
It's all a bit of a puzzle. Has she just been spanked? She looks quite composed if she has, not a hair out of place, and no visible 'war wounds' on her bot. Maybe, she's about to be spanked and is taking a last look to remind herself of what a bruise-free behind should look like.
When I've got more time I really must put together a post that pulls together more of Mr Black's (or Mr. Luc Lafnet's) work. It really is evocative stuff - at least for us 'retro-erotics'.  

 

It's truly shocking...

...when a girl can't get the personal attention that she needs. In fact, I'd say not spanking a needy spanko is on a par with kicking a cat.
I don't like to complain, but I'm going to - sorry. I feel like my needs are so far down the agenda at the moment that they're off the scale. 
But should I make a fuss, or should I be doing the British stiff upper lip thing? Your advice would be helpful.
Here's the evidence. Firstly, SO is out of work, has been for some time and is getting really grumpy about it. The old contract finished in March and since then there's only been odd days here and there.
So, I have to offer sympathy and be always looking  for a bright side. I'm not that good at either and it seems that we're doing more arguing than loving these days.
Then there's the fact that Older Daughter is about to start at university, bless her. She's given up her job and is now devoting all her time to getting stuff ready (and most of ours too).
The amount of emotional energy coming out of her is scary - and draining. It's like everybody else in the house has to be 110% focussed on her and the coming adventure.
Which all means that the little itch that I need scratching isn't likely to get scratched any time soon... I;m tempted to kick the cat.
Can we please get some doctor somewhere to quantify how harmful it is for us spank addicts to go without a spanking? Then perhaps I could get it on prescription!

Adds up?

Lots to do this week. As I work from home I think of my work as 'homework' and just like school homework it's often a struggle to get it done.
I set out with the best intentions. So I'm not blogging, not looking at Twitter, not...
But somehow I get distracted. A hour in this morning I've wasted time looking at Twitter and now I'm here in blogland.
Must try harder. Perhaps if I were a pupil at the school in the picture I'd buck my ideas up - a stroke with the stick for each mistake would concentrate the mind, wouldn't it?

Swingers revisited

This is one of my weirder little fantasies. Sorry to go on about it, but when I'm on a swing (which I often am, a) because I like it and b) I have a child who's still young enough to like it, so I have a valid excuse) I always think spanky things.
Not sure why. I think it's about the way your bottom sticks out in a distinctly inviting way why you really get going on a swing.
It seems to me that anyone with even a hint of the spanko about them who's standing behind me must have an inclination to smack. There (in my case) is one curvy and rather big bottom hurtling at them that is just begging for a good, meaty spank.
If roles were reversed I don't think I could resist. Anyway, I happened upon this image today and that got me thinking about the swing-spanking equation again. In this case the position isn't quite right but the basics are there: 

Swing + Instrument of Correction = Ouch 

Sounds suspect?

Startle! At my desk I'm listening to BBC Radio 4's 'Woman's Hour' and the presenter, the indomitable feminist Jenni Murray OBE, has just said: "And, of course, we know some people like to be spanked..." 
And I'm sure she did it with such a playful tone of voice, or did I imagine that? It was part of a discussion about violent porn, shades of grey and 'extreme' sex and privacy. Which is quite an interesting listen - hear it here.
I'll be having a listen again to check whether or not I'm right that my spank-dar picked up a bit of tonal variation on that "and, of course, we know some people like to be spanked..." When I've seen Ms Murray on the TV she has a habit of looking at the interviewer sternly over her glasses that is pure schoolmarm, which already had me wondering.

Good book

 

The thing about technology is that it changes us in unexpected ways. I wasn't entirely convinced about the whole ebook thing at first because I love the look and the feel of a real printed book. I keep the ones I love the best and find it really hard to part with them.

But then I got a Kindle and found that it does have its advantages. Wherever I go I can take a couple of dozen books with me, not just one. 

And, of course, I can sit on a train reading a perfectly shocking book and nobody around me needs to know... You can judge a book by its cover, which is why a naughty ebook is such a great travelling companion. 

By numbers

Sorry, but I'm a bit obsessed with numbers. I've been here before, but here I go again. I wouldn't usually buy a copy of Glamour (which claims on the cover to be Britain's No1 women's magazine), but a friend stopped over and left a copy in our guest room.

So now I know that the lovely James Purefoy has a dog called Marcel, that my hair is too small (because 'big is back') and that 60 per cent of Glamour readers say they're turned on by porn. Yes, the mag has asked 2,000 of its readers what they think about naughty stuff and found that the majority think that naughty is nice.

No surprise there for anyone reading or writing this. But, of course, there's a passing reference to spanking. The article says: "For most part your tastes are simple. But occasionally you go for something a little more out-there."

And on the "out-there" list between role-play and man-on-man sex is spanking, which 16 per cent of the readers polled said they look at. Which means that when you walk into a room with 25 women in it four of them will have an active interest in things spanko.

Or one in 6.25. I read this after popping into town to pick up some stuff from the pharmacy and found myself counting back over the women I met.

Walking up the high street I bumped into my best friend's sister and had a quick chat. In the three shops I went into I was served by women, the tea I bought in the coffee shop was served by a very pretty teen and both the pharmacist and her assistant were female.

So who, of those six women (forget the quarter) was one of us? I have a gay friend who's always boasting about his gaydar - I wish I had spankdar...