By numbers

Sorry, but I'm a bit obsessed with numbers. I've been here before, but here I go again. I wouldn't usually buy a copy of Glamour (which claims on the cover to be Britain's No1 women's magazine), but a friend stopped over and left a copy in our guest room.

So now I know that the lovely James Purefoy has a dog called Marcel, that my hair is too small (because 'big is back') and that 60 per cent of Glamour readers say they're turned on by porn. Yes, the mag has asked 2,000 of its readers what they think about naughty stuff and found that the majority think that naughty is nice.

No surprise there for anyone reading or writing this. But, of course, there's a passing reference to spanking. The article says: "For most part your tastes are simple. But occasionally you go for something a little more out-there."

And on the "out-there" list between role-play and man-on-man sex is spanking, which 16 per cent of the readers polled said they look at. Which means that when you walk into a room with 25 women in it four of them will have an active interest in things spanko.

Or one in 6.25. I read this after popping into town to pick up some stuff from the pharmacy and found myself counting back over the women I met.

Walking up the high street I bumped into my best friend's sister and had a quick chat. In the three shops I went into I was served by women, the tea I bought in the coffee shop was served by a very pretty teen and both the pharmacist and her assistant were female.

So who, of those six women (forget the quarter) was one of us? I have a gay friend who's always boasting about his gaydar - I wish I had spankdar...