Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Measured behaviour

My little crush of the moment is cold, steely and scarily strong. He's also rather exacting and seems intent on keeping me on the straight and narrow...
OK, I'm overdoing things here but I'm at that stage in a relationship where you're all over-excited and gushy. Finding such a great new-to-me corruptible - our little metal ruler - is quite something. I was out the other day buying some art supplies for youngest daughter when I came across it in amongst the paints and crayons  and the light bulb in my head pinged on.
When I'm judged to be in need of some attitude adjustment SO says 'got fetch me something' and I'm expected to select the implement that will be used on my bot. So, yesterday when we reached that stage I trotted off to find... the ruler.
In the past I've played with wooden rulers (for school scenarios) and been distinctly underwhelmed. Too light - no umph whatsoever.
Metal is quite a different sensation - and I'm hooked on it. I know lots of people prefer the extreme end of TTWD, but I'm pretty middle-of-the-road and don't like anything too heavy.
And the ruler is just right, lots of sting and heat, but not the deep muscle pain that SO's usual weapon of choice (the clothes brush) imparts. It left me feeling so exquisitely hot back there that I thought I'd melt.
I'm now struggling to suppress the urge to brat too much because I'm itching for seconds. I'm also thinking that I need to visit the DIY store; would they perhaps stock a bigger, meaner steel ruler mark 2?


  1. You are on to something here. A metal implement sounds brutal but if you go about it the right way it aint ! In my kitchen drawer we have a super metal spatula with the long thin metal ruler shaped blade coated in silicon. It packs a really smart sting and it has these lovely holes drilled in it. IKEA used to do them but I cant seem to see them on the web site any more so they seem to have gone. The nearest that I can see is this. See the link. It is part of a range of implements that are silicon coated and it is the nearest that i can find. Anyway, here it is.

  2. Hey I found it, this is the one in my drawer. Its truly salutary across a bared bottom and cost all of two quid. What's not to like !!!

  3. That does look interesting... Our kitchen drawers are brimming over with corruptibles of all shapes and sizes, but that does look like it would be £2 well spent.

  4. A thin, flexible/semi-rigid, metal ruler can be a very potent spanking implement. It should be applied with care and precision. I'm glad to hear it's worked so well for you.