Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Shades of consent

Sorry that there has been so little to read here lately, but I've been trying to keep my real-life, vanilla book projects on track. One went to the publisher a week or so ago, and now I feel a little bereft - life seems a little empty. 
But I know there's book no. 2 still to write and it's way behind schedule... So, now's the time to show some self-discipline and get working.
Which is why I'm messing around looking at spanko blogs and tumblrs at 11.25am. Self-discipline is difficult when the d-word sends a little tingle jingling around the nervous system, isn't it? 
While I'm here I feel I have to share yesterday's experience with you -  I've had a spanking that I didn't want. Yes, our consensual spanking relationship edged a little towards non-consent and it has left me a little confused (and a little bruised too). 
It happened like this. I'd been bratting about for a day or two, all sloppiness and pout. SO picks up on the signals and decides to make adjustments to attitude. It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.
However, by the time the opportunity for a private moment arrived my SQ had plummeted to a record low.  Like everyone I know here I'm a bit under the weather at the moment and feel distinctly post-viral.
But SO wasn't going to be put off track and I figured I'd warm to the moment once my bot was getting warmed. It didn't happen and I ended up taking a belt-whipping I had little or no appetite for.  And thinking about it afterwards it occurred to me that this was the first time ever that I had had a spanking that I wasn't absolutely desperate for. It hurt, I wanted it to stop, it wasn't arousing. 
Of course, I could have used our safe word. It exists, but after 20 or so years I'm not sure SQ would have recognised it. 
I took it my medicine bravely. Then it came to me that this was as close to a proper punishment spanking that I've ever been - strange.

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