Saturday, 19 May 2012

It don't mean a thing...

...if it ain't got that sting. I'm not very good on physics. I just didn't bother to listen in class. A generation or two earlier I'd have been obliged to listen - or take a caning.
But that wasn't on the cards for me, so I didn't listen. So I failed my exam and I still don't understand much. If I had I'd be able to answer my 'spanked on a swing' conundrum.
I'm swinging backwards and at the very same moment a palm, or some other spanking implement, is swinging forward. When one and the other collide do butt and implement meet up with twice the force?
It's occured to me when I am on a swing - as I was this morning - that my bottom sticks out in a rather inviting way. Does that sound conceited? Sorry, but I'm pretty sure that inviting is the word.
 If I could clone myself (I wasn't bad at Biology - I got a B) then the me watching would feel an over-powering urge to whack the rrather cruvy, big behind of the me on the swing as it hurtled back towards me. Too tempting.
 And that swing-assisted spank would smart a great deal more than just a regular, everyday one, wouldn't it?If there's an ologist out there I'd be grateful for a definitve answer.

Sadly, I can't think of a way of experimenting with the forces involved. It has to be some sort of offence for adults to play spanking games on a public park's children's play equipment, hasn't it? And we don't have a tree in the garden big enough to hang a swing on. So it will have to remain a bit fantasy, a bit physics problem.


  1. Hm, interesting question! I'm afraid that science is like kryptonite to Pennys so I can't help much.

    Still, a quick scan of that wiki page suggests that a spank to a swinging bottom will have more sting than the same spank to a stationary one as there is more kinetic energy involved. (Two moving bodies rather than one).

    Maybe you could apply for a research grant? You could buy a swing with that :)

    1. Yes, a research grant - but I'm thinking big. Not a swings, but swings. One hundred of them and one hundred perfectly-formed research assistants travelling at speed to meet a perfectly-timed thwack... Now that's what I'd call a physics lesson.

  2. I've gone over the math carefully and come to the conclusion that I'm not very good at math. So sorry, not much help here. As a spankologist (or spankapologist?) I will eschew the physics, and with a more simple thought experiment, will imagine myself as the whacker. As the inviting target swings towards me, I wait until all that curviness is at the top of its arc, and then apply my implement. Then a swing-assisted spank becomes a spank-assisted swing. Still, how much would it sting?

    1. I hadn't thought of that - the spank would send the bottom of the swing swinging faster, wouldn't it? Presumably it would all get faster and spankier until the spankee met the speed of light and simply disappeared.