I just have to...

...do something else. Then I'll get started. Honest. I really will, but before I do perhaps I 'll have a mint tea and take a look at Facebook. Or Youtube. Or even better Spankingtube.

Prevarication. I have a chronic, on-going case and today it's even worse than usual. I have 1,000 words to write on a worthy (but boring) topic and an editor waiting to get his hands on it - but can't write a word.

Other working freelance journos I know share the problem and we often talk about how it feels. How you lose hours, even days, to time-wasting avoidance rather than getting stuck in and doing the job.

But I think I have a slightly worse than average case because, as a spanko, there's an added complication. And that's guilt. 

Do you suffer from the circle of guilt? You feel guilty, that makes you feel like you deserve to be disciplined, which makes you feel a little horny - which gets you back to guilt.

And it all adds up to further procrastination. So, I've never met this editor. He may, or may not, be a nice guy, he probably just wants to clear his desk and catch the train home to see his kids before bedtime.
But in my mind's eye he's about to get angry. And when he discovers how little I've done and how close to deadline I am he's going to be very angry indeed.
And... well you know where I'm going with this. Instead of writing what I should be writing I'm here on Blogger writing about how I'm not writing...

Which has me feeling a little bit squirmy and confused. That gets me trawling the archives at Spankingtube, which only makes matters worse. Boy, do I need straightening out - self-discipline is hard for a discipline addict.