Mind your Ps and Qs

What a pleasant surprise - I'm delighted to say that I sit here in front of my computer with a smile on my face and a deliciously well-warmed seat. Mine that is, not the chair's.

Our children got a surprise invitation for an overnight with friends and Significant Other isn't working today, so we had the house to ourselves this morning. Over breakfast in bed we got talking about the AtoZ game.

Does anybody else do this? You can't sleep so you make a list in your head of something, anything - the more boring the subject the better if you're hoping to get back to sleep.

Last night it was coastal towns of Britain, from A for Aberystwyth and onwards. At about 3am I got stuck on V* and that's when I drifted off back to sleep. Over breakfast we decided to do another AtoZ, this time of spankable offences at our imagined strict boarding school.

There are lots of gaps, but it's a work in progress. If you can suggest new offences or fill gaps I'd be very grateful.

Anyway, after a while SO picked a handful of my recent offences from the list (A, B, C, E, F, G, I, L and plenty of S) and I got my due.

a is for argumentativeness
b is for bad language
c is for cheekiness
d is for disobedience
e is for eating between meals
f is for fiddling (in your knickers)
g is for getting above yourself
h is for haughtiness
i is for insubordination
j is for jumping on the bed
k is for kicking your heels
l is for lewdness
m is for masturbation
n is for naughtiness
o is for obstreperousness
p is for prevarication
q is for querying an instruction
r is for running with scissors
s is for slacking
t is for truancy
u is for unladylike behaviour
v is for voicing dissent
w is forwalking in an inappropriate fashion
x is for xtremely poor spelling
y is for yawning while being told off
z is for ?

*PS V is Ventnor. It's on the Isle of Wight, which is very nice when the weather's good.