Sunday, 15 January 2012

Botany and bottomy

Pervertables, when you're in the mood they're everywhere, aren't they? I went into the garden centre yesterday to get pet food and Significant Other phoned while I was there.
Could I get hedge plants? There's a bit of a gap in the garden hedge and SO wants to put in more plants to fill it. I wonder around for a while and then decide to ask someone.
The only assistant in sight is young and male. I explain what I'm looking for and he says: "Oh, you mean whips." Did I blush like a giddy teen? I'm afraid I did.
It turns out that in the trade they call the little twigs with roots on 'whips' and sell them by the bundle. So it turns out that what I need is a couple of bundles of whips.
Of course, by then I was lost. We stood there while he explained why hawthorn might be better than hazel or hornbeam, but I couldn't concentrate.
So off I went with whatever he thought best (hawthorn - cheap, quick-growing, prickly enough to keep animals in or out), but I drove home with a different sort of botany - bottomy? - going on in my head.
I have some experience here. Hazel, flexible and knobbly. Willow, straight and slender and extra-stingy. Apple, good texture and very whippy. Haven't been able to try the classic hickory switch of American tradition, sadly. Can you grow it here in the UK - I suppose that's a question for the guy at the garden centre.


  1. Great post! I love "bottomy." Thanks for the link too; I've added one to you as well.

  2. Thanks
    Nice hat! I guess we're all bottomists at heart, aren't we.